Tag Archives: bar tips

The Five Stages of Single Awareness Day

14 Feb

As much as we try to deny that Valentine’s Day is even a real thing anymore, any single person will tell you that this most horrible of days is rough. No matter how hard you try to put on your good face and pretend like seeing all these happy bitches all around you isn’t seriously making you consider committing a felony, we know that on the inside you’re plotting their deaths and white-knuckling it until you can be home and pantsless, dominating a box of bargain chocolates.

single-awareness-day_1391590836

The stages of Single Awareness Day are fairly easy to spot within each of us, and with the right booze to pair with them, you’ll be able to make it right on through this unholy day with ease and a serious buzz. Continue reading

Why Bitches Love Brunch

12 Nov

Brunch is the best. Period. Ask any chick in your life, and she’ll tell you she lives for this shit. Bitches love brunch, and it seems like dudes don’t really have the same passion for the magical combination of breakfast, lunch, mimosas and sunglasses, so let me break down the key elements of the brunch obsession.

bitches love brunch

Sleep: Breakfast is an early morning thing, which is real rude. And lunch has a pretty strict noon-ish start time. Brunch starts anywhere from 10:00am to 3:00pm, providing your tired, hungover slam pieces just enough recovery time from the weekend rage to get rid of the dark circles and general fug leftover from the night before (in most cases…I’ve seen some of these monsters you dudes bring out in the daytime, and you should be ashamed of yourselves…woof).

Continue reading

It’s Ladies’ Night

8 Nov

Once upon a time, some horny dudes wanting to get some strange came together and created a special, magical event to draw all single ladies out of their sweatpants and into the bars on a weeknight. This primal mating ritual has manifested itself into something completely awesome, and it’s called ladies’ night.

fugly ladies night

If you have a pulse and a vagina, and you’re not taking advantage of ladies’ night, there’s something wrong with you. Ladies’ night is an important part of any fun, single girl’s life for several very important reasons. Continue reading

What the hell is vermouth anyway?

15 Jan

If you fancy yourself a self-made mixologist or have ever cracked open a drink recipe book, you’ve probably gotten real pissed that half the stuff requires some type of vermouth and you never bought any because…what the hell is it?

vermouth

Basically, vermouth is white wine with some liquor added into it. The stuff they add to it is usually too nasty to make a drink in itself like flowers and tree bark and shit, so that’s why they have to mix it with wine.

When you mix it into a drink with a strong liquor base, it sort of dilutes the alcohol content without watering it down. Instead, it should enhance the flavor of the base liquor or add something to it—thus the different types. So if you’re down to get blackout drunk, you don’t really have to add it, or if you like the flavor of your base liquor and any other ingredients, you may not miss it.

How to Get Her to Drink Faster

13 Jan

As a mid-twenties male, I often wonder, “What can I do get her drunker faster?”

Well, the solution came from our friends at The Cheeky, procurers of trashy gifts.

get-drunk-faster-tumbler

The Get Drunk Faster tumblers will not allow someone to set their drink down without it falling over. And when you have a drink in your hand, you literally cannot overcome the natural compulsion to keep drinking every couple of seconds. It’s impossible.

These things run a little steep at 2 tumblers for about $60, but think of how many vodka cherry sours you won’t have to buy…

Strangeways Dallas – Your New Favorite Bar

6 Oct

In my constant search for the perfect dive bar, I (drunkenly) stumble into some pretty strange and maybe dangerous places. I recently ran across a little hole-in-the-wall place in East Dallas that is a dive bar lover’s dream. Strangeways looks like a dark, seedy cave where you may possibly get shanked – but it is completely worth the risk. With tons of rare craft brews on tap and bottled, along with a huge assortment of interesting liquors, Strangeways is an awesome place to kick back and try some great new beers.

The little bar on Fitzhugh is owned by two siblings, Eric and Erica Sanchez, and is pretty small and low-key with an awesomely casual atmosphere and laid-back vibe. This is the dive bar you’ve been searching for – where you can try all kinds of new beers and cocktails and chow down on some delicious food without a bunch of douche cakes spilling beer down your back and body slamming you into the bar. Go to Strangeways, sit on the patio and order a beer you’ve ever heard of – no Smirnoff Ice for you here. It will be interesting and tasty and you’ll be hooked.

Dallas Date Night: The Cedars Social

26 Jun

At first glance, The Cedars Social doesn’t look like much. There’s no sign out front, the building is a little sketch and it looks pretty small and uninviting. Then, as you walk into the possibly dangerous, unmarked south Dallas building against your better judgment, your mind is blown. This place is swank at its finest, and has a really cool retro vibe.

The Cedars Social is a cocktail den and restaurant with modern-day comfort food prepared by well-known NYC chef Kyle McClelland, as well as delicious old-school cocktails mixed by renowned mixologist Michael Martensen. Continue reading