Derby Day is TOMORROW – Mint Julep Recipe

4 May

Cinco de Mayo, Shminco de Shmayo. This is Dallas.

That means we celebrate Derby Day. You know—big hats, bow ties, bright colors, smug sense of self-satisfaction. Also, horse races.

So if you’re going to celebrate the right way, you’ve got to spend the day donning gay apparel and sipping mint juleps in the sunshine. It’s pretty much the best day of the year. And here’s how you do the drank:

The Party Way

If you’re throwing a party, it’s not hard to make a pretty simple mix in big batches so your guests can add as much bourbon as they like. This way also removes the mint leaves from the drink, so when everyone gets drunk and starts making out, there’s not green stuff in everyone’s teeth.

  • 5 cups water
  • 5 cups sugar
  • 15 fresh mint sprigs (3 per cup of water or sugar)
  • Kentucky bourbon
  1. In a saucepan, boil together water, sugar and mint sprigs for five minutes, or until sugar is dissolved
  2. Let syrup cool
  3. Remove mint sprigs
  4. Add .5 oz of syrup to 2.5 oz of bourbon with ice, and stir
  5. Sip and brag about your golf swing

Traditionally, these drinks are served with crushed ice in silver julep cups, but it’s a party, so anyone who whines about not having enough silver cups to go around should be punched in the face. Also, regular ice will be just fine.

The Lonely Way

So maybe you’re drinking for one tomorrow. There’s no reason why you should enjoy the same luxuries that people with friends have.

  • .5 oz simple syrup
  • 3 mint sprigs
  • 2.5 oz Kentucky bourbon
  1. In the bottom of a shaker or glass, muddle together simple syrup and mint sprigs
  2. Add bourbon and ice
  3. Shake or stir until its chilly
  4. Sip and brag to yourself about how you’re too busy to make actual Derby Day plans because of your super important job

The Broke-Ass Way

I know, I know. This goes against everything Derby Day is about. But we’ll call it charity and write it off on our taxes, right?

  • 2 packets of artificial sweetener
  • .5 oz water
  • Splash of mint extract
  • Whatever bourbon you can afford
  1. Shake or stir with ice until sweetener is dissolved
  2. Sip and cry because you can’t have nice things

If you’re drinking tomorrow, don’t drive yourself home. Don’t even ride a horse home. That could be just as dangerous, riding a horse drunk. Get a designated driver. You’ve still got all day to farkle for it.

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